Unit 10 Final blog! YAY!

In unit 3 I rated myself to be between 8&9 physically, I was just coming out of a show and was in pristine shape. In the last 7 weeks since I have put on some more weight which I am not comfortable with however I developed a stomach ulcer and have had extreme GI problems so my diet has certainly been off track. I am confident I will be back to my comfortable weight now that I can take care of this stomach problem and rid myself of some stress. My spiritual rating was 6 or 7, this class has actually helped me find more strength and connection and growth in my faith. I admit this class has tested me in so many ways I would not have thought about, lol. SO now I give myself a 8 or 9 in my spiritual aspect. Mentally and psychologically I had rated myself around 6 or 7, although I am confident in who I am I still see many areas I need to grow in through my life. I need to become more accepting of my body no matter what weight or size I am. My confidence in other areas are great, yet my self esteem plummets anytime I gain a few pounds and I become depressed and sad. It is very annoying actually so I intend to continue to address the issue. I still work toward building improving my physical goals, which now are to just be healthy and feel well. I am following God's path to the best of my ability and continue to grow in my faith and take more time in a day for my quiet time. Once school is over I will have ride myself of one of the major stressors in my life so I am still working towards that goal. I just want to thank everyone who has taken the time to read my blogs and appreciate all the feed back. Best of luck to everyone!

Unit 9 project

Introduction: I feel it is important for health and wellness professionals to develop psychologically, spiritually and physically in order to relate with their clientele on a more personal level. For myself I would like to develop on the psychological and spiritual aspects of health and wellness. Through the course I have realized that there are many areas of my life that I have yet to address and allow to heal fully. In a way I have been putting band-aids on wounds from my past. I feel that as I continue to grow in my spiritual faith I will find healing in my psychological state as well.

Assessment: I have done an integral assessment of my mind, body, and spirit along the lines of out text due to my personal beliefs. I have however done alternative type of assessments. Physically I score my self  on the higher end of the spectrum. I have overcome obesity and many food and eating disorders. I however score myself a little lower on the psychology side of that. I still suffer from self-esteem problems and find myself struggling with my weight fluctuations all the time. When my weight goes up after a competition when I look the best I ever have and then I gain 20 pounds within a month due to the rebound of the contest diet. I struggle mentally accepting my body when I have body fat. On stage I compete at 8% off stage in between shows I am 13% and that is very hard to not see myself as obese and ugly. These are certainly areas I need to face and heal from. Spiritually I am strong in my beliefs and continue to grow as I attend church and fellowship with other believer. My devotions are my time of “meditation” and through God I will find my healing in the other areas of my life.

 Goal Development: Physically I want to find a better balance of diet and weight. I would like to live a lifestyle where my diet is consistent and my weight is as well. I do not feel that it is healthy for someone to yo-yo as much as I do when competing and my body is starting to become unhealthy due to my diet as well. Physiologically I would like to become more comfortable in my body in any state of health. Meaning I want my self-esteem to value how much I am worth. I want to always feel that I am worth being healthy, happy, and loved. Spiritually I hope to grow more Christ like and live in a manor pleasing to God and to fulfill His divine purpose in my life. 

Practices for personal health: Physically I intend on adjusting my diet to meet my current exercise regiments. Exercise is one area I currently do on a very regular basis. I train for 2 hours 5-6 days a week. I intend on changing this around some and see how I do. I believe part of my inner struggle is I am addicted in a way to cardio and feel that if I miss a day in the gym I will gain weight. I need to change this way of thinking and in order to do this I nee to incorporate a change in life. Another physical exercise I intend on incorporating into my life is yoga. I began to take yoga in order to achieve a better balance in my workouts. I tend to focus only on cardio and heavy lifting. But physical health extends beyond just those exercises. So as I change my diet to find a better balance I also will be changing my workout routines.

Psychologically I am still am uncertain how I intend on growing. I hope by making changes in my diet and workouts I can learn to stop focusing on the constant battle to cardio myself into the ground. I intend on seeking out a more healthy approach to looking a foods and how they can balance and affect our body. I struggle mentally with this concept so for me viewing fats and carbohydrates as a necessary item is difficult. I am great to require my own client to incorporate these foods into their diet yet I struggle to take my own advice. Also I am going to incorporate 5-10 minutes every day to have quiet time alone with just myself and the Word of God. Weather I go to the beach or stay home I want to find time where I do not feel rush or pressured to achieve some sort of task in order to meditate.

Spiritually will be along the same lines as physiologically because for me they are one and the same. AS I continue to grow in my walk with the Lord I continue to grow mentally as well. Through Christ I am forgiven and my sorrows and worries are taken away. Spiritually I can be healed mentally so to speak. AS I struggle with my mental grasp on my weight and body I grow stronger in my faith that God will provide answers and a path for me to follow. I guess in a way although I struggle not to stress about my self-image I know in the back of my mind I will balance out and things will be okay because I have given it over to God.

Commitment: In six months from now my biggest way to assess my progress will be to see how my health and weight are doing. In six months I hope that my physical sickness that have developed due to lack of proper nutrients in a diet will be settled and that I will be able to maintain a healthy weight that I am comfortable at. I also will be able to assess my progress for my spiritual well being by acknowledging where I was and where I will be. My short term goals are also my long term goals. To physically be healthier and maintain a healthier diet and exercise routine, psychologically I will have abetter grasp on my self image at the weight I hope to maintain and have my binge eating and eating in general under control. Spiritually I will always be growing in my faith no matter what, when, or where.

Unit 8 Mindfulness Practices

Well I can say the most beneficial practices for me have to be vision practice and subtle mind. Although I do not follow the actual meditation itself very well I did take away a part of the meaning of the practice. For example obtaining a subtle mind helped me to calm my mind, mostly at night, and with this I have been able to separate and truly look at what my issue where and prioritize which need to be worked on first. Before this practice I always felt that it was a cluster mess in my head and I could not get a grip on reality. One specific example is my husband and I are trying to make a decision weather we want to move north or stay in Florida. It seems like the idea is such a cluster of thoughts, concerns, ideas, worries, where to start looking, how to go about moving, and so on. By practicing subtle mind I have been able to address all of my thoughts and concerns in a more organized manor. Next example is how I incorporate the vision into my life. I am a figure competitor so for me vision is everything. I focus on my vision of how I want to look on stage before the judges and while I am training, dieting, or preparing I stay focused on this vision. At times during the training process my emotions run high, I can become so fatigued I want to give up and quit, and I may question why I am doing this to myself. By having my vision n the back of my mind I can will myself to keep going and remind myself that I can do this. So out of all the exercises we have done these are the two that may stick with me in this way after the semester.

Unit 7 question 2

The saying " one cannot lead another where one has not gone him or herself" is just an awesome saying!! We actually discussed this in my church a few weeks ago. Even thought the message was "why does God allow bad things to happen" it almost goes hand in hand. For myself, had I not experienced obesity, poor self esteem, bad relationships, and many other nightmares in my life I would not have the strength, courage, compassion, passion, and empathy towards those who's paths I believe I come across in order to influence their life in some way. I choose to change my life, I choose to change the types of people I allowed myself to become involved with. SOme life experiences where so horrible I wouldn't wish them upon anyone. Yet I know several people who have gone though similar things. SO when I am talking to a client who may be obese, and have terrible self esteem and allow people to take advantage of her insecurities I can honestly say I know exactly how you feel and mean it. WIth these types of experiences I can help guide her though mental and emotional changes as well as physical. When undergoing extreme weight loss I remember experiencing so many mental and emotional struggles pilled on top of the physical. I would allow myself to be used and abused by people, I would hide from my parents and family to try and hide what was happening in my life. Finally a life and death situation came across my path and I am blessed to have the family I do and my parents where there without question. Having the support and encouragement in all areas made the world of difference in my success. I pray I can provide the same support to my clients who may not have a lot of encouragement and support. Having gone through similar challenges gives me the grace, wisdom, and apathy needed while training clients. THere are times when they need a more stern and hard push and other times I know they are in a delicate state of mind and need love and compassion. I use this daily and pray as I continue to grow and experience life that God teaches me life lesson and directs me on the path He has set out for me to follow. I choose to not be a victim in the bad circumstance in life, I choose to be the student and learn and grow both in wisdom and strength. With all the situations that come from life we can learn and help others who go through similar situations realize there is hope and light. I use my spirituality, life experience, and knowledge to bring hope and encouragement as much as possible. I am by far perfect, but I strive to be better every day. Jeremiah 29:11 " For I know the plans I have for you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Once I stopped trying to turn away from God's plans and try to live according to His plans I can help lead others through paths I have already traveled.

Unit 7 Question 1: Meditative practice

Well for anyone who has read my post knows where i stand in my faith and beliefs. SO no big surprise, I REFUSE to take part of this meditation. One big commandment for any Christian; Exodus 20:3 " You shall have no other gods before me." So no offense false god Aesclepius, I will NOT be meditating on your healing powers or energy. However those who read my post know I use Jesus and my one true God instead. At first I tried to envision my actual father seeing I look up to him and try to incorporate all his teachings. My father first and foremost is a wise and Godly man who raised my sisters and I in a GOdly home. He was the spiritual leader of my home. Not only is he one of the most Godly men I know, he also is a man if integrity, honesty, love, wisdom, a loving husband and father, a man who cherishes life, and who helps anyone in need. He shows compassion and mercy, grace and forgiveness. He is strong and influential, he corrects the wrongs and guides us in loving manor. Even though I will not perform the meditation because I will not put another god before my one true God. I can reflect on God healing powers and his blessing of allowing me to have a father that raised me to be the strong and outspoken woman I am today. I do not need to envision my father with lights coming from his head, throat, stomach and butt to appreciate him and his teachings. My father followed God's word and instructions for raising children. Ephesians 6:4 " Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord." I may have exasperated him more then anything, and though we all are human my father followed God's direction. He and my mother are my heros and mentors.  I do not need to envision God surrounded in light because to me GOd is the light in the darkness. Instead I chose to meditate and be still in my prayers with God. Psalm 46:10 tells us " Be still and know that I am GOd." I do think it is important to take time to reflect in God's word. God is the true healer in my opinion. Exodus 23:25 " Worship the Lord your God, and His blessings will be upon your food and water. He will take away sickness from among you...". So this is what I focused on and prayed upon instead of meditating to a false god. Psalms 147:3 " He heals the broken hearted and binds their wounds." Without the guidance and wisdom instaled by both my parents, and if I was not truly my fathers daughter I would not have been able to fight for what I believe. I was raised in God's word and I fought against His word for a long time. Now I know where I stand, and with my God, my husband, and my family, I do not stand alone, and I will honor my father and mother and GOd. God is my hero, my salvation, my savior and my healer. Through him only can we truly be healed.

Unit 6 Whammi! :)

Okay so here is the deal. I am not doing the Loving kindness meditation according to our text. First I will explain why. Ever since I began this course I have become, anxious, agitated, stressed to the point of becoming ill, depressed and over all unhappy. I was nothing like this before this course began. The last time I did the loving kindness audio I was irritated for over a week with it. So I am going to tweak every meditation I am forced to do for this course from now on. I realized today what a part of my problem was, I feel like I am cheating on my beliefs and God. And honestly that is not okay for me. The premise of the loving kindness is to reflect love towards the world. Well I can do that through my faith and belief. So instead of being quiet and chanting some ridiculous saying that doesn't work for me I am going to speak my mind.

Loving kindness reflection for myself, today I was reflecting on God's word to us. He states in Jeremiah 31:3 (NKJ). "..I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with a loving kindness." God also tell us to "love our enemies and pray for those who persecute you."- Matthew 5:44 (NKJ). SO instead of me trying to breathe in all the worlds problems I reflected on God's word and let go of any anger, hurt, sadness and all the negative feelings and handed them to God. "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind; and Love your neighbor as yourself." - Luke 10:27 (NKJ). See I don't feel as though I need to practice modern day meditation in order to become connected with God. I do not need to take in all the worlds burden onto myself. That is not my job, my job is to love and show kindness, compassion, mercy, forgiveness, and share my beliefs and stand firm in them.

As for my integral assessment. After reflecting today on everything I definitely had to assess many areas about myself and some of them are not easy for me to have to come to realize. Unfortunately some are personal and no offense are not going to be shared. But some of them are my attitude toward thing. any time I am to sensitive and assume I am being attacked. I believe this steams from insecurities that are left over from my obesity and how I was treated. I obviously have some wounds I have not allowed to heal and only did a temporary fix on. I need to really focus on this area on my life. It make a difference in how i see myself as well as how I portray myself to others. Others areas I need to continue to grow in is my relationship with my husband and where we are going with our future as fare as work, home and children. My career is in a path of change which frightens me a little and I need to assess why and what I want to do with my life. Taking time to truly assess so many areas in my life is going to be a constant challenge because of the ever changing situations. The one are I am not affairs of and excited to grow is in my faith. I am excited to see what God has in store for myself and my family.

Subtle mind practice

Well I can say that I had a much more positive experience with this technique then with the love and kindness audio. I found this one to be very refreshing and relaxing. I will definitely be doing this in the evenings before I am settling into bed. This is the time where I find I can not get my mind to shut down. During the audio I was not surprised how many time my mind began to wander off onto other things. Yet focusing on my breathing truly helped wrangle those thoughts back into order and to release them and just be aware they were there yet not engage in thinking about them . This happened several times, but I was happy to notice I was able to separate from being aware of the thoughts instead off engaging them. I also intend on using this technique while I study me daily devotions and spend time in prayer. I have done the breathing and focus routine while training at my gym and it is a natural habit for me to be able to shut everything and everyone around me out. So I will be excited and willing to try this in different scenarios.